Celebrity Big Brother – Live Eviction

Last night, my Mum and I attended the live eviction on Celebrity Big Brother with tickets from applausestore.com.

For those of you who do not know, tickets to a lot of TV shows filmed live are free on this website and it’s free to register (they are not paying me to tell you this by the way).

After a stressful journey to Elstree Studios (my Mum is one of those people who perpetually ignores her sat nav and then wonders why she’s lost), we joined a queue and got a little wristband and a few funny looks from the scores of ten year olds in attendance.

As well as ignoring her sat nav, my Mum is also queen of stupid comments.

”Ohhhhh the queues going down, they must be letting people in”

Either that or something seriously bad is going down Mum, have you seen Boy in the Striped pyjama’s?

I have to admit I’ve been to a few filming’s before and the mixture of fake cringe applause and being like a cattle market had put me off for life, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to verbally abuse Dappy.

And by verbally abuse, I mean if he was given the boot I would of thrown my umbrella at his head without second thought, it would be worth a night in a cell. In actual fact to physically hurt Dappy it would be worth 6 months in a Thai prison.

As much as I am a fan of queuing in general (I absolutely love it, give me a nice queue and I’m happy as Larry), I was slightly concerned about the length of it and the fact it was next to Tesco (you all know how much I love a supermarket).

I ended up however, being quite entertained at the graffiti on the gate which read ‘Get Dat Bally’. Nothing makes me feel older than not being able to understand one single word of slang. What happened to the days just shortening things like ‘lk’ for ‘like’ or ‘dnt’ for ‘don’t’.

I don’t understand the whole ‘lyk’ or ‘dun’ situation. I especially do NOT understand the phrase ‘Get Dat Bally’, however I do wish the author well and hope they got as much Bally as they could ever imagine in their wildest dreams.

Now once we were bundled into the studio we saw the lovely Emma Willis freezing her tits off talking to the crowd. The reason I call her lovely, is because if I were the presenter, I was not allowed to wear a coat and it was pissing down, you would have as much chance as getting Paul Gascoigne sober as seeing me standing there chatting to the unimportant people.

Seriously, I’d be like ‘I’m in my dressing room with a frappe, if you don’t like it piss off and we’ll get some of the Tesco staff to be in the crowd’. This is more than likely to be one of the reason’s I am not currently famous.

Most of the contestants are not currently famous either, so I fitted in great.

I am typical ‘laidback’ celebrity meet’er . I could not give a rate arse if someone’s in a boy band or presents a TV show. They all pooh and wipe their bums same as me. (JOKES, I don’t pooh).

My Mum, however is a typical ‘lets make a fool of myself getting over excited at this B lister’ celbrity meet’er’.

”OMG Emma Willis is standing next to us, Emma Willis is standing next to us”

If anything you should be concerned, she’s been coughing every ad break and the last thing I want is another cold.

”OMG they are shorter in real life”

Really? because I swear when you see them on the television they are about 50cm tall?

So, there we were eagerly anticipating the 49cm tall ‘Celebrities’ so we could shout abuse. I know that makes me sound like a horrible person, but to be honest, I’m a horrible person.

If anyone’s been watching the show, the next few sentences will be even funnier because you know what’s been going on. Poor Lee Ryan, he walked out like a rabbit in headlights, and looked genuinely shocked we were all booing (and by booing I mean shouting out Lee’s a mug and a wanker, Lee cant sing, we don’t like you either, and Blue are shit).

This highlights a shocking point not a lot of us think of. Celebrities have feelings too. Should they be followed around 24/7? Should they be mocked? Should they be abused? Should they have their feelings hurt for our entertainment? Should people actually wish harm on them because of the way they lead their lives? Should they have to give up their right to any privacy?

Short answer. Yes they fucking should. If I lived in a mansion and got paid thousands for 3 weeks work I couldn’t care less if you called me a wanker.


celebrity big brother final 2014 lee ryan


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