Toby Carvery Basildon, OR Tony Carvery if you are having a particularly bad auto correct day.

What I LOVE about a carvery is you can pile your plate as high as possible and no one can judge you. No one looks at someone coming back from the veg counter and goes ‘Jesus look at what that fat fucker has got’. Because a carvery is a roast and roast’s are supposed to be big.

As you can tell, I have obviously gone 5:2 diet > healthy eating > carvery at 12pm on a weekday. It’s a natural progression. Like when fish grew legs and evolution happened.

We have an insanely nice carvery in Basildon. Now, there are other carverys in the area (don’t want to name and shame, so lets just say it’s NOT the Darby Digger), whereby you feel it’s a toss up between you and the meat getting stabbed first. Tony’s actually has a bit of decorum. Well, as much decorum as somewhere in Basildon can have. I even saw an OAP wearing a tie.

She looked lovely.

I did make the mistake of waiting for my friends, on what from the looks I was getting from everyone walking past me must of been the burial site of Jesus. So if you are going to go, don’t stand and wait out the front by the seats.

The customer service, actually isn’t as horrendous as the rest of Basildon. It’s not GOOD mind you but it’s not horrendous. We did want to order a coffee after our plates were taken but the waitress was off at the speed of light. She did come back after half hour and suggest we might want a coffee.

How did you know?

There was also a nice touch where she said she over heard us talking about leaving and bought the bill. Well, it was either nice or her or strong evidence to support a restraining order.

At £6.99 it is fairly reasonable. The drinks are refillable, I’ve yet to find out whether this includes refilling them with mash and stuffing so I will keep you updated.

I would suggest if you want meat that is an actual animal biological science has heard of, want to keep the contents or your bag and prefer being around old people to convicts this is the carvery for you!

Treat yourself on your next fast day like I did.