I woke up with every intention of going for a run today.
Then it started raining. I don’t know about you, but I find the concept of running in the rain unfathomable.
I might die. Or melt. Or melt then die. Or die then melt.
I have more random excuses for not exercising than I do sarcastic comments for people I dislike. I thought I would share them with you in case you ever need them:
‘I cant go to the gym, I left my hairband/towel/padlock at home’
‘I can’t do Wii fit, there’s no batteries in the remote and the neighbours might see’
‘I can’t go for a run, it’s pissing down… and the geese always chase me’
‘I can’t go swimming, I mis-judged my fake tan and now my legs look like the bottom half of a fab’
‘A lion ate my gym card while I was at the zoo’
‘I haven’t got a free 7 minutes actually. I have a spare 6 minutes and 30 seconds in the morning and I use that combing my eyebrows’
‘I cant go to the gym today, there’s a lady who is always in the changing room naked on Tuesday and she makes me feel really uncomfortable’
‘I cant make Yoga today, I have eaten a large amount of eggs and am extremely conscious of passing wind in front of the whole group, including the man whose sexuality I cant work out’
‘I cant come spinning, my Sky box has broken and I’ll miss Eastenders and can’t Sky Plus it’
‘I would LOVE to come walking, unfortunately I cannot find any of my shoes. not one pair. I’ve been wearing socks with a carrier bag taped to them for 4 days’
‘I’m afraid I can’t make Tennis. I used my racket to unblock the toilet and now various pieces of it are floating down the Thames with shit on’
‘Had to give Bootcamp a miss last night, someone threw a tomato at my car and I had to clean it’
‘Couldn’t make Pilates. Aliens abducted me last night and I’m still a little sore from the probing’
I hope these are useful to you. I actually DID end up going for my run and it DID make me feel a lot better, so try and only use these in emergencies, like your wardrobe breaking and you being unable to get into it to find your running gear.
Love to know your thoughts guys?