The Perils of Primark

I braved Lakeside this weekend with my friend Little Em thinking being Sunday it would be quite a painless trip.
The first clue is in the name, as you can imagine I noticed halfway round H&M that Em, being shorter than the isles is going to be quite hard to track.
I’m a very quick, painless shopper for a girl. If it fits, and doesn’t look like it will need ironing I’ll buy it, regardless of price or style. The only reason I manage to look ‘ok’ is because I shop in places that carefully craft styles for you. I’m not a fan of Topshop though,having been friends with people who literally buy the whole stock and call it being ‘fashionable’. To me, being ‘fashionable’ is looking smart and possibly not wearing something the other 5,000 in Basildon who are not on benefits are wearing. Saying that, you always need ‘basics’ and Primark is a good call for those. If, like me, you have someone in your house who clearly eats plain black t shirts then you will need around 600.
While in Primark, my partner in shopping crime went into the changing room to try on some bits for work. The queue was massive anyway, but 10 minutes past. Then 20 minutes past. Then 30. Around the 30 minute mark, I started to seriously panic.
What if something happened to her?
Whats the protocool for that?
‘Excuse me, my friends been in the changing room for 30 minutes so I can only assume she’s had an accident with some jeggings’
How would anyone know if you were on your own?
What would happen if the worst DID happen?
Would your shopping partner get vouchers?


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