1. You spend more time combing your eyebrows than you do your hair.

(and this is just the boys)

2. You wear heels to do the weekly food shop.

Why NOT spice up your life a bit though?

3. You start every sentence with ‘To be honest..’ or ‘I aint being funny…’.

In case anyone doubts your integrity or mistakenly thinks you ARE in fact being funny.

4. You call going to or working in London going to or working ‘Up town’.

For a start its a city. Mull that one over.

5. All of your furniture is from Lakeside Ikea.

And you stopped for meatballs and dime bar cake.

(if you do not know what Lakeside Ikea is I have a blog about it here: http://confessionsofasoberessexgirl.co.uk/2014/02/06/ikea/).

6. You class Nando’s as a proper eating out occasion.

Unless you are trying to get hench and eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

7. You find any leopard print clothing acceptable. Even if you are male.

Eye of the tiger and all that.

8. You know someone who worked at Yardleys.

Or still works at Dagenham Ford or Gilbarco.

9. You had your picture taken on the Basildon sign when it was first built.

Now you don’t notice the thing even if you drive past it.