When my boyfriend invited me to his cousins wedding I thought ‘oh good, excuse to buy some shoes’. He only pointed out to me a week before hand that the bride was Indian and it was to be a full on Indian wedding.

Indian weddings ROCK! I have never been to such a colourful, lavish show of peoples love for one and other. I was pretty pleased due to my recent run of being uninvited to weddings, to be invited to the whole affair.

The venue, One Mayfair, was breath taking. Not ones to be subtle, we realised we were in the right place when we saw One Mayfair’s mini fires either side of the door. I didn’t get a close up because with the amount of hairspray I had in it would of been all over before it started. The groom arrived on a horse, and even stopped the traffic on Oxford Street which was brilliant.

Even thought most of the ceremony was in Sanskrit, the priest was very good in helping along the English guests with what’s going on. Instead of having a boring, non participant ceremony like English people do, Indian wedding ceremonies are full of little jokes, including a game where the bride and groom race to sit down and who ever wins is said to have the upper hand in marriage. Obviously the women always win because we are all absolutely BOSS.

There was quite a bit of fire in the mandap for my liking, which I was glad to be two rows back from (hairspray). I was pleased to see One Mayfair had a decent amount of fire extinguishers dotted about because the last thing you want on your big day is to have to extinguish a sari in the middle of the wedding rituals.

It was really nice to get an insight into different culture. There is a lot of culture knocking about down Basildon town centre but that’s more of a special brew and reebok classics type of thing. After the proceedings we were led to the crypt, which I was relieved to see didn’t have any bodies in and just prosecco and canapés. Basically, I was being fed my favourite alcoholic drink and samosa’s and thought I’d died and gone to heaving. The catering, by Preeti Catering (http://www.preeticatering.co.uk/) was absolutely perfect. If you do read this, Preeti catering, I’m sorry I chased one of your waitresses like she had just burgled my house but I really wanted a samosa.

After a lot of prosecco, some samosa’s, and some Indian cheese we were called for dinner, and the main room of One Mayfair had been transformed in our absence. Each table had a ‘lazy Susan’ which was fantastic for ‘lazy Kelly’, as it meant I could sit on my arse and eat and drink.This little contraption meant I could sample a bit of literally each dish, which was good because by this time I was starting to feel a little bit tipsy (and by tipsy I mean off my tits). I like to get proper involved in trying new food so I had a bit of everything, and hats off again to Preeti catering, because although there was no meat you wouldn’t of even noticed as the dishes were so tasty.

As a party favour, we were given lovely little decorated Indian pots with sweets in, and I was tempted to bring home some of the Bombay aloo for later, but I guessed it might be bad etiquette. After the speeches, and the cake cutting and first dance, we got down to some serious dancing.

I think I have found my niche. I’ve never been able to dance, when I do, I look a bit like a kid who is forced to do something funny again so there parents cant video it. Getting right involved in the Indian music was such a bit of me though, I loved it, and even the 94 year old Nan was having a go. She was so sweet, and I even asked if I could give my party favour back and take her home, but no one was up for it. So I kept myself amused by doing loads of ‘changing the light bulb’ dancing.

Weddings are fun anyway, but these guys absolutely out-do themselves and I couldn’t of possibly have had a better time. It was literally one of the best days of my life. The whole family were so hospitable, and Jack and Rakhee were a lovely, grateful couple, and I was not one bit jealous that Rakhee looked like she had been airbrushed in real life.

We ended the night at Travelodge in Kew Bridge, which is actually really nice with way comfy beds, and a great little outdoor area we sat at this morning gossiping about the wedding.

If you have a function in this area I’d suggest looking them up rather than faffing with cabs. I’d also like to take this time to mention how absolutely USELESS Kew Cars are. My boyfriends aunty got a taxi from the hotel to the venue, and asked the driver for a return journey. When we went to get picked up, the office had no knowledge of it and their customer service skills extended to ‘you’ll have to wait’. Not good enough Kew cars, if that was a vulnerable person who booked the taxi because they needed to get picked up at a certain time, you would of left them mincing around central London at midnight. GREAT.

One Mayfair, the venue, was amazing. If you are planning a wedding, or are well off enough to just book it for like, a Tuesday, take a look at their website http://onemayfair.com/