8 tips for splendid skin

We all want nice skin, but like wanting to be thin without doing one bit of exercise and healthy eating, none of us want to work for it. Here’s a few tips that might get you going:

1. Zinc

I know what your thinking right? How the shitting Shirley can a metallic chemical element help me with my acne?

Zinc reduces inflammation and has been proven to help people with acne if they take 30mg per day. The best thing is, you can buy Zinc tablets for 99p in Savers ravers. Happy days!

2. Water

Believe me, if you are sitting here thinking ‘I am so sick of people telling me to drink so much bastard water’, I totally share your views. Drink water for weight loss, drink water for your skin, drink water if your heads fell off, drink water if you don’t want a hangover, drink water if you want to win the lottery. Unfortunately, there’s a reason for it. Water is MASSIVELY good for you, and its what quite a bit of your body is made up of.

If you can’t stand the thought of it, chuck a slice of lemon in some water in a sports bottle and keep it in the fridge so you have a nice cool refreshing drink throughout the day.

3. Sleep

When certain people say they are ‘going to get their beauty sleep’ I think ‘ooh babe are you gonna take a week annual leave for that one then’. Albeit, the saying does come from some truth. Sleep is when your body regenerates everything, including skin cells. If you don’t get your 8 hours a night, it will clearly show in your face. Why not try my tip, go to bed ridiculously early on weeknights so you can stay up a bit later on weekends. By later, I mean til 7am.

4. Eat fruit and vegetables

Another boring one, but its true. Did Popeye have bad skin? Nope. It’s because he ate spinach which is rich in Lutein, a very potent antioxidant which helps skin cells grow and regenerate. You can also find it in kale and papaya. Vitamin C, helps blemishes heal properly, and you can find this in blackcurrants, broccoli and kiwi fruit to name a few. You can also find both in sweet potatoes, so stock up. If you never know how to vary your fruit and veg, why not walk round Tesco with a blind fold and just pick up random shit?

What an adventure, trying to cook a mooli and papaya casserole.

5. Exercise

Yep, another one you don’t want to hear. I’m not telling you to spend 3 hrs down the gym everyday like I obviously do, but just get your blood flowing a bit by doing some extra walking. It will make you thinner too. TOP TIP.

6. Facemask

All rude jokes about facials aside, if I could afford one every week I would have one. As much as we cleanse, tone and moisturize, inevitably some cheeky little bits of dirt will get into your pores. Unfortunately, I do look like something out of a horror film when I slap one on, so if this is the same for you, plan 2 times a week you can facemask in peace without your fella thinking you’ve come down with the ebola virus. I use Priori and Cosmecueticals face masks (that’s a lie I use them for EVERYTHING) and you can grab some info and where they are stocked here:


7. Don’t use TOO many products

I know, I apologise, this sounds totes contradictory to what I’ve just said and I’m making myself sound like a hypocrite. It’s true though, that you can use too many products. don’t slap the entirety of Boots on your face and then wonder why you get blackheads, because it will clog your pores like nobody’s business.

Imagine how shit your toast would come out if you buttered it with three different butters and put soft cheese, marmite and peanut butter on it. Ew.

8. Smile

Stress is one of the biggest causes of acne and poor skin. I know its hard to keep your cool when the bus driver nearly crashes into a car on the mini roundabout, your heel breaks, and it pisses down on the way to work, and your hair goes massively flat. The best way to keep calm is to imagine how stupid your problems look to someone else. Like Vladmir Putin.


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