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I’m not a politician (no, honestly, I’m not, unbelievable as it is). The EU referendum debate has appeared to go on and on, and although I’m not as worried about it as I am about what my eyebrows look like, I am still quite concerned that we’ll leave the EU and get treated like that one pigeon in Trafalgar Square that can’t keep up to the others and never gets the chip.

Saying that, I literally could not be any more bored of everyone suddenly becoming a government expert. So here you go, here are some totally silly, irrelevant facts about what will happen if we leave the EU.

Wine will get more expensive.  

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The Pound and the Euro haven’t had a fabulously great relationship lately, but a Brexit vote is likely to push it down against the Euro, which means imports will get more expensive by default.

While the Pound is losing the battle against the EU, there are also a number of reasons our beloved wine will get pricier. In the event of a Brexit, it is likely that we will have to negotiate new trade agreements, and when we leave the EU we will be subject to ‘trade tariffs’.Yep that’s right, anyone exiting the EU is subject to ‘trade tariffs’, and because we negotiated as part of the EU at the World Trade Organisation, it’s likely when we go solo we will be subject to all sorts of different rises in prices on trade agreements.

Unless we negotiate a new trade agreement, and quickly, some experts have quoted the rise as being as much as 32%…

That means your fiver bottle of pinot noir will set you back £6.60.

Holidays will get more expensive.

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Let’s start with your airfare. Why do you think it’s ten times cheaper for you to pop over to Malaga for a weekend in Marbs than it is for you to go to Thailand? Yes guys, that’s the EU working in full force for you. If it wasn’t for the EU removing certain restrictions and making the low cost airline market more competitive, you wouldn’t be able to fly to Prague for £9.99. Makes sense right?

Also, you know when your Mum shits herself as you are going to the airport and says ‘DON’T FORGET YOUR EHIC CARD’?. Well that’s not going to help you if we are not part of the EU. Chances are if you are enough of a dick head to stack it or need your toe sewn back on, you’ll have to pay A LOT then claim it back on insurance. Sounds fun.

Also, you know what a ballache it is when you leave your data roaming on?

It’s only going to get worse if we Brexit.

We won’t control immigration/migration anyway.

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Sorry to burst your bubble Sun readers, but leaving the EU isn’t going to solve all of our immigration/migration problems overnight. We are not just going to build a wall, or put up a massive fence. Also, it is more than likely that even if we leave the EU, we will need to rely on them still letting us have a ‘free trade’ agreement with them, in which one of the conditions will surely be free movement.

We rely on skilled workers not only from the EU, but also many other places like the USA and the Middle East. Leaving the EU isn’t going to change this fact, and it’s unlikely that it’s going to have an impact on anyone entering the country illegally. Anyone entering the country illegally isn’t just going to give up and say ‘oh they’ve left the EU now we’ll ship off back home’. DUH. Hence the term ‘illegal’

AND FINALLYYYYY…

I’m a firm believer in if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it. Remember how annoying it is when you update to the new ios and it turns out to be shit?