Seeing a dog on the tube is the best thing ever. Nothing makes the day super amazing like getting to see and pet a doggy on the tube. You’ll usually see them being given attention while the exasperated owner just tries to go about their day.

When you get off the train, you MUST hold your hand over the button to assure everyone it’s under control. How will your fellow commuters ever trust you to open the train doors if you do not hover over the button to reassure them you have it in hand? Opening the train door is the utmost travel responsibility.

Train station toilets are an absolute no. 30p to have a wee in a dirty freezing toilet? No thanks, I’ll hold it.

People with paper tickets are the devil. Especially when they put the ticket in the wrong way round and hold up the rush hour queue for no reason what so ever.

Pret, Caffé Nero and Costa are all more or less the same thing. After a while, the chai latte’s, ridiculously priced dark chocolate bars and the chia seed bars will all merge into one, and you’ll find yourself wandering in for a coffee without even really realising where you are.

You’ll sit next to the world’s loudest chewer at least once a week. There will inevitably be at least once during your commute that you will have to sit next to someone who is chewing in surround sound. Standard etiquette is to look at them and sigh loudly. Another great way to inform your travel buddy they are annoying the shit out of you is to send a tweet or Facebook status complaining about them that they can quite obviously see.

Tourists are an absolute nightmare. Ok guys. Thank you so much for contributing to our economy, but seriously, read your map at the side of the path rather than dead smack in the middle of one of the busiest walking routes in our capital city?

Fenchurch St Burger King is a MUST after work drinks. Or any drinks really. Nothing saves your life like a dirty burger before you get home and fall asleep in your make up.

You secretly check the Metro’s ‘Rush Hour Crush’ section every day. Who knows, the rush hour crush success rate could be higher than you think. Someone has almost certainly seen you wiping off tube sweat while digging in to your bacon brioche from Pret, and thought ‘wow, they are the one for me’.

Taking the wrong exit is the world’s worst mistake. No matter how seasoned you are, taking the wrong exit out of a tube station and ending up in what can only be described as Narnia is a complete disaster. In drastic times, you may even need to go back in and start again. Joy!