25 Things About Me

I had my toe sewn back on when I worked in Greece in 2013. It’s probably my favourite story to tell. I kicked a rock accidentally in the dark and my little toe literally ripped off. I spent the next morning insisting I didn’t need stitches until the toe came off when I undid the bandage. It was grim and it was so painful having the anaesthetic injected into the open wound. I got a seriously gross pic though.

I’m terrified of accordions. I don’t know why they just freak me out.

I absolutely hate mayonnaise. I think it’s absolutely vile and even the smell of it makes me feel physically sick.

The hairdressers makes me anxious. Again, not sure why but I am not a fan of sitting still so maybe this is why. I just find it so boring and hot and sometimes I just wish I could fall asleep.

While we are on that – I’m known for falling asleep in random places. I once fell asleep in a shoe shop in Thailand as my mate took so long to pick shoes. Just laid down on the little chairs you use to try the shoes on. I have also fallen asleep on a ride at Thorpe Park and in the jacuzzi at the gym.

I like to read or watch the news before I go to bed. One of my friends is so cute she even remembers to put it on for me if we come back from a night out.

I recently stopped drinking alcohol, and although I fell off the wagon a bit while I was on holiday I think I’ll carry it on forever now.

The Philippines is my favourite place in the whole world. I have family there and I will try and get there as much as I can, usually every couple of years.

Again a follow on – I’m actually terrified of flying. Now I don’t drink I’m just going to have to knock myself out with Kalms and Amytriptaline when I go anywhere really far.

When I worked in France they were like “tell us a fact a bout you” when we first got there. Mine was that 24 hours before at my leaving do I’d been stood in a paddling pool in my mates living room. I crept out in the morning and left them to deal. I also once got my friend a paddling pool for her bday and we put it up on the balcony of her flat. It lasted five minutes until we froze our tits off and came in.

I come across as a bit blunt, but I am actually really nice and I would do anything for you if you asked me to. Unless it involved an accordion.

I’m lucky enough to have the same best friends I have when I was 13. God knows how they have put up with me for 16 years – they should get a medal.

My favourite restaurant is La Sala in Marbella.

I have seriously weird dreams. God knows what causes them but the last one was that we were having a girls night at mine and we found three crabs in my garden and we taught them to dance and all snap chatted it.

I literally live my life with a cracked iPhone screen. I drop it so much it has got to the point now where as it’s already cracked I care a bit less about this so I have just left it.

If I could wear jogging bottoms and havianas for the rest of my life – I would.

For the longest time, I couldn’t pronounce my ‘M’s’ and ’N’s’. I’d say “Aminals” and things like that. It took me so long to sort it out and I still slip up now and again if I am not really careful.

I LOVE spicy food. I’ll happily eat Vindaloo or Phal with no issue whatsoever – however if I even look at milk, I get really sick. Starbucks once gave me normal milk instead of soya milk and I was so unwell.

I HATE socks. Like HATE them. They make me feel claustrophobic and while I have got better and can wear them around the house I literally would not wear them with shoes. Ever.

I spend so much money on magazines. Tuesday is my ultimate favourite day and I buy more or less all of the trashy ones every week. The headlines in Take A Break and Pick Me Up make me die.

I’m also obsessed with proper tea. I get mine from Mei Leaf in Camden and it really is the best place in London for authentic Pureh or Oolong Oolong etc. You can even sit in for a cup and try before you buy. I have a proper Chinese tea set and I’m currently teaching myself the Gong Fu brewing method.

I write clickbait for a living. Well, headlines, technically but they cross over at some point. Some people look down on that or see it as a trashy way to make a living, but I used to wipe peoples bums and bath old people (which I also loved) – so each to their own really.

If you are mean about someone disabled in front of me I will probably punch you VERY hard. There is no place for anyone in my life who is nasty to people because they are different in any way shape or form.

You can take your handbags, purses, scarfs, shoes and watches. I LOVE sunglasses. My habit has got a bit more expensive now as I have to get prescription ones but all the same I’ll still walk around unable to see if I find a pretty pair I can’t get my prescription put into them.

I’m really annoying. A lot of people don’t realise I’m actually joking 99% of the time when they first meet me, and don’t like me. But I’m nearly 30 now and not exactly going to change so I’ve made my peace with it.


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