*This post was written in collaboration with My BDSM Hookups

The world in general has changed irreversibly over the last year, and dating has been really difficult. Not only is it hard to find people to date, with many restrictions coming almost over-night, it stands to reason that BDSM hook ups are hard as well.  The great thing about the internet, is that you can find people to date from the comfort of your own home. This gives an extra layer of protection, as you can kind of “pre vet” people. There are plenty of websites to help you find like minded people and plenty of ways to stay safe while doing so. Not only does your personal safety matter, but the safety of your partner is very important too.

Establish a safe word

If you are looking to find a mistress, once you have, you need to come up with a safe word. In all honesty, a safe word is so important, it is something you should set up when you first start chatting. Just because you are into a certain level of BDSM, it doesn’t mean our partner is as well. Some people are in to all out BDSM and some are just on the fringes, learning. Setting up a safe word early means that even if talking gets a bit uncomfortable, one of you can stop it. This should go without saying, but ensure you both know the safe word.

Hygiene

Hygiene is one of the most important safety strategies. In these times, hygiene is literally imperative. Any toys should be thoroughly after each use. Personal hygiene is a massive factor as well, If you use BDSM dating sites you will more than likely meet someone who feels the same about hygiene and is on your wavelength. This is why it is preferable to meet someone online and chat to them first. If, for example, you are trying to bring a stranger into your world, they will likely be inexperienced.

Find safe parts of the body

Another factor that is pretty vital is to explore which areas hurt and which areas of the body are able to withstand being hit with a paddle or a similar object. Have the discussion fist with your partner, before you do anything. It goes without saying that certain areas should never be hit. This is something that need to be agreed before you get down to anything physical.

Never leave someone bound alone

If you tie someone up, be prepared to take the ties off at some point. You can’t just leave someone bound because if they are bound that means they are truly helpless. and it wouldn’t be fair to them. Remember, safety is paramount to both subs and doms. As tempting as it may be to leave the person there for a substantial length of time, you need to keep this person safe as one of your responsibility’s. Even if your partner is happy to be tied up, that does not mean you have to do it.