Here’s the thing about getting older: it’s swings and roundabouts. Yes, I am incredibly boring now. The most exciting thing that has happened to me recently is that my potato pave came out well last weekend. But there is also a lot of good that comes from your mid-thirties. After all, I have been through recently, I have now absolutely mastered the art of “not care”. The concept of “not care” comes from my best friend’s youngest, a story we all love. I walked into her house one Christmas, and her daughter, around 3 at the time, was standing and playing with her toy kitchen. When my friend said to her “Kelly is here”, she turned around, looked me up and down, and said “Not care”. She is 7 now and my group of friends and I adore it so much as a life motto, I have it tattooed on my foot (not very well). And life is all the better for it, which is why I’m sharing some tips with you all on things that other people don’t care about, so neither should you.
What you look like in a bikini
Remember on your last holiday, when you sat there all day by the pool judging what other people looked like in their bikinis? Of course, you don’t, because it didn’t happen. The truth is, no matter how much you stress in the run-up to your holiday, no one is going to be looking at you in your bikini. Trust me. People work hard for their holidays all year and they have a lot better things to do than paying that much attention to other people. During my holiday last year, I was starting to get malnourished and was very thin, but no one by the pool at the Liberty Lykia in Olu Deniz made me feel like they were looking at me and noticing it. I’ve also been on a fair few holidays where I have been a bit bigger than I’d like, and after it was over I wondered what all the fuss and worry was for.
Having the perfect “social media” lifestyle
When everyone seems to be living their “best life” on social media, it can feel like your own life is a bit boring or a bit of a struggle. But the thing you need to remember is, social media is a reflection of that person’s “best life”. No one posts pictures of them crying on social media because they are overworked and they need a 100 hours of sleep, a cuddle, and some pasta. You get the highlights reel on people’s social media accounts. I’ve encountered so many people that desperately want the lives of the people they follow on Instagram, but trust me, those aren’t even those people’s lives.
Being open about your chronic illness
Chronic illnesses, like mine (Crohn’s) come with some pretty embarrassing symptoms. This is a very easy way to scare you off of talking about them in public. But here’s the thing. The fewer people with chronic illnesses talk about them, the less awareness there is. And awareness is imperative for the people around you to be able to understand how to help you, and also is very important for people who may have symptoms and not realize they are symptoms that are not normal and need to be checked. As much as it sounds highly embarrassing to put your chronic illness out there, no one will be remotely bothered or shocked when you do.
What other people think about you or say about you
I don’t know about you, but if I hear someone bad-mouthing someone, even someone I don’t particularly like, I think “Wow, how childish”. In my 20s, I spent a lot of time worrying if people liked me, and worrying about how one person would discuss me with another. Something I have learned now I am well into my 30s is that it doesn’t matter what other people say or think about you. If you are a nice, friendly person with a kind heart, then when you meet people, they will mostly make their judgment, rather than be influenced by something they have heard about you from someone else.
Similar to the above point, you won’t find many people around that take gossip very seriously. The thing about gossip is that it is usually so OBVIOUSLY gossip that people take it with a pinch of salt. And let’s be honest, gossip is a dying art form now that people share every second of their lives on social media. Whenever I hear someone has said something salacious about me I just think “Good for you Gossip Girl I hope that kept you entertained”.
Missing out on things
In the 90s, some clever so-and-so coined the phrase “fear of missing out”, which then got its cool acronym, “FOMO”. I think it’s a great saying because it does capture the feeling exactly. A lot of the time, you don’t WANT to go out, you just don’t want to miss something, right? (or maybe it’s just me, the unsociable butterfly). When you are having a rough time with your physical or mental health this is exacerbated tenfold. Because not only are you worried about missing out on the actual events, but it’s always in the back of your mind how much you have had to say no recently with the worry people will simply stop inviting you. Let me tell you now, REAL friends don’t care about how many things you miss out on. They will continue to invite you anyway, and won’t ever make you feel back about missing out on 5 or 6 things in a row. It’s something that other people only care about in your mind.
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